When dumb meets dumber?

Ah yes, the blind date. These are quite possibly the two most dreaded words in a single person's life. However, take if you take 2 people without common sense, full of arrogance, let them drink all they want for free, and video tape the whole outing, you get the show "Blind Date"

Based on this description it sounds as if this show is entertainment for the handicapped. I assure you, it's pure genius! Allow me to explain.

Imagine you on are a blind date. You wait nervously for your date to arrive, the whole time wondering if they will have some sort of massive deformity (physical or otherwise), while trying to make yourself presentable, but not to presentable, afterall you don't want them to think you try this hard all the time and you really are that desperate. When the date does begin you make small talk and partake in some cheesy, predictable activity such as miniature golf or bowling. All the while you are critical of yourself and/or the date. Then the end of the date comes are there is the awkward goodnight. Will they kiss you, will you kiss them? Do they want to kiss you, do you want to kiss them? Are numbers exchanged? Do you even want them to have your number or maybe they don't want it and what will they say when you offer it? All this anxiety for what? Is dating really worth it?

Take this same situation and apply it to America's dating challenged. People who don't know what they want (isn't that all of us), usually care too much about their egos, and think that by being on TV some 15 minutes of fame will suddenly change their lives. Throw in free alcohol, a TV production crew, who encourages extreme behavior, and predetermined daters who personalities will most certainly clash. The combination is sure to be a winner.

You see, by watching the dating challenged at their worst, we are reassured that our own dates are not that bad. During the course of the show, the daters are constantly criticized and set up to make fools of themselves. The producers allow this because it is what holds their audience. We tune in knowing there are people out there who are unsuccessful in love and willing to make fools of themselves for our entertainment. This comforts us and tells us that despite any deformity a date may have or we, ourself, may have, there are daters who will lick someones nipple in front of a TV camera out in public and then proceed to fall off the bar while stripping.

So, the next time you are on a "horrible" date, just remember that Blind Date will be on later that night and someone will make your date look like prince charming just took you to the opera and revealed his innermost hopes and dreams. In conclusion, Blind Date the show is a work of art to be enjoyed and appreciated for what it is.....bad dating.

What's cheating got to do with it?

So I have just finished watching Sex in the City the 4th season. Carrie has been sleeping with Big and finally tells Aidan what's been happening. So what does Aidan do? He leaves her! Typical male behavior. Now before you go and think I am one of those male bashers, allow me to explain.

Men by nature are hunters and women gatherers (at least, so we are told). So in theory when a man "cheats" on a woman, the woman more often than not forgives the "man" because we are taught that's what men do. Men are constantly looking for a BBD (Bigger Better Deal). They "hunt" for women and never settle because there is supposedly something more appealing than what they already have just waiting around the corner and how will they ever find that BBD unless they can have their cake and eat it too? Woman are taught that it is acceptable for a man to have multiple partners and that is what makes a man a man. It's like that old theory; If a man has a lot of sex he is a stud, but if a woman does the same thing, she is a slut.

Switch back to Carrie and Aidan. Carrie sleeps with an ex-boyfriend (Big) while being in a relationship with a man who she loves and who loves her. So what is it that causes Carrie to stray? Is it Aidan's stability? Is it Big's fear of commitment? Or is it just simply Carrie's inability to ignore Big's desire for her? Can she not help but wonder, now that she has found a man who loves her and is in a relationship that truly makes her happy, if Mr. Big is her better deal. Does this make her a bad person or is she just a little curious? Afterall it was because of Big's unwillingness to commit that Carrie was driven away in the first place. The bottom line is, is Carrie wrong to have slept with Big while in a relationship with Aidan?

Yes, she was wrong, but only morally speaking because in a way Big cheated on Carrie. When Big and Carrie broke up, he turned around and got married to a younger, "more successful" woman. This is the same man who was so unwilling to commit that he wouldn't let his long-term girlfriend keep so much as a toothbrush in his apartment because he didn't want her to feel too at home. Then he dumps her and turns around and gets married? I mean, come on! What kind of message is he trying to send here? I love you, Carrie, but I can't commit to you so I'm gonna go marry this younger woman, but cheat on her with you????!!!

Case in point. Men don't want to settle. So where does a guy like Aidan fit into this picture? I believe Aidan showed up at the wrong time. He was Carrie's rebound. He was everything Big was not. He was kind, nurturing, committed, and he genuinely love her. He wanted everything with a big red bow on top and was not afraid to show it. I believe, guys like Aidan only come around once in a lifetime. Yet, after finding out Carrie was unfaithful, he leaves her. Aidan was so consumed with how HE felt and how HE wouldn't be able to handle her betrayal that he didn't even to listen Carrie's side of the story. Granted she make a mistake, but is he really so closed minded that he couldn't even listen to this women he loved so dearly?

I speak from experience when I say that being cheated on is inexcusable. You know that old saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater", I was convinced, applied in my situation. Looking back, however, I realized I did exactly what Aidan did and only now do I regret it. I was so self-involved that I didn't even stop to consider what the other person was feeling and how they may REALLY have been sorry and REALLY did care about me. Is an isolated incident so terrible and does that guarantee they will "always be a cheater"? Plus if the situation was reversed, wouldn't I have wanted to be forgiven?

Generally speaking, we are all bad at relationships. We become so in tune with what "I want" and what "I need" from a relationship, that they are inevitably doomed from the beginning. Afterall, isn't the reason we are involved with someone supposed to be based on wanting to make them happy?

P.S. I know this is not the end of the Carrie-Big-Aidan story, so please don't tell me what happens next!

My ass has something to say....

The dictionary defines a "booty call" as "a telephone call made to arrange a sexual rendezvous." I don't know if I necessarily agree with this definition. I mean, upon further examination the word booty refers to the buttocks and the word call means to communicate with by telephone. So if you take the term "booty call" literally it means you are calling someone's butt and frankly I don't know anyone who wants to talk to another person's ass (unless they are Jim Carey in Ace Ventura Pet Detective). Keeping this in mind, I have been asked to provide the history of a little game I play with friends, which we affectionately call "Booty Call".

The game goes approximately something like this....

After a night of drinking at local bars (preferably in Pacific Beach) we all pile into one car and drive around the streets just as the clubs are closing and the number of drunks walking on the streets is optimum. With the windows rolled down, the appropriate amount of alcohol consumed and at approximately the right moment, we scream "Booty Call" out the window to unsuspecting pedestrians. The reactions vary from ignoring us completely to running up to the car and jumping through the window. Speaking from experience, the median response seems to lie somewhere between hollering back and approaching the vehicle.

The history of this game all starts with an group of 3 girls and 1 guy who were especially intoxicated (with the exception of the driver, naturally). We were casually "cruising" down Garnet Ave with the windows down (it was warm that night) when we spotted a group of guys walking, one of which was on the phone. Our driver quickly yelled out to the cell phone guy "Booty Call!" and the response was overwhelming. The group of guys whooped and hollered back, some even showcased graphic hand/mouth gestures, causing us to giggle even harder and casually drive away. For the next 20 minutes we did laps around PB screaming out the windows at random groups of pedestrians and driving off without consequences. Eventually, we got braver and paused a little longer until we were paused at a stop light a forced to discover the consequences of our actions. The guy we screamed to approached the window and just as he was about to lean in, someone from inside our car hollered out, "She's a man!" The look on this poor guy's face was unforgettable. He quickly made a sound that was part dying rooster and part elephant and ran away. And so the game was born!

The most memorable adventure occurred on my 23rd birthday. I, unfortunately, am unable to recall the events leading up to what I am about to describe. I remember being very excited that I was intoxicated and it being my birthday so (as is customary) I screamed out the window and two guys ran up to the car. Well, in my eager state, I flung open the back seat door and the guys jumped in. All at once I recall hearing Dahlia scream, "Oh my god! Get out! Get out! Who let you in?!" Felicia scream, "Ewww get away!" Me scream, "WooHoo, it's my birthday! Don't kiss her. She's married!" and Jason laughing. We then proceeded to drop these fellows off at their vehicle, when the first one jumped out of the car, dropped his pants, and started peeing on the sidewalk. This caused Dahlia to scream and attract unwanted attention from everyone in the vicinity. A few police officers arrived on the scene and somehow we slipped away, but all I remember thinking was how glad I was he waited until he got out of the car to do that!

The moral of the story is this: If you escort drunks into your back seat make sure to lock the doors and windows, if possible. Also, make sure the lushes do not holler at orally fixated urinators and if they do be sure to drive away quickly and not be stuck at a traffic light. Thus concludes the history of the "Booty Call". Let's keep it clean out there and remember to have fun! Any questions?

Best Friends?

So by now most of us are aware of Maseume's obsession with SJP, but what you may not know is that SJP is also obsessed with Maseume. Allow me to explain.

I have known Maseume for 1 year and in that time I found that she is not only a Sex in the City fan, but it is quite possible she has dreams in which Ms. Parker is her BEST friend. I know this sounds strange, but it is a sensitive subject for Maseume. I found this out after defacing a few ads with Sarah in them and placing them on Maseume's pillow to promote more frequent dreams(not recommended - she gets mad!).

So because of my "disrespect" for the actress, I was informed my first blog assignment would be about SJP. So, naturally my next step was to research her and find out what it was Maseume found so appealing in the actress. Fortunately, it didn't take long (I hate research). I found this quote;

"I don't judge others. I say if you feel good with what you're doing, let your freak flag fly."

Now for those of us who know and love Maseume...I shouldn't have to say anymore. The fact, however, that SJP said this leads me to believe that the two had probably spent the day together. They had a nice lunch, maybe went shopping for some new earrings or Manolo Blahniks (hopefully not getting too lost), and then caught a comedy at the local movie theater, in which they saw ALL the previews. And after a day like that with Maseume, who wouldn't be inspired to let their freak flag fly and thus proving that the two really are meant to be BFF. I just hope SJP comes out of the closet one day and announces to the world how much she loves (in a non-lesbian way) my friend.

In closing, I would just like to say that I am now a closet SJP fan. If it wasn't for this assignment, I would not have watched as much Sex and the City as I did. And also learned that Carrie thinks, "balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it." So with this newfound inspiration, I look forward to my next topic.....